A few months ago, I met with a friend's mom who sat down with me to talk about her experience as an immigrant from the Dominican Republic. Throughout, she was able to share her struggles with the language, how she stays connected to her culture, her thoughts on going back to visit DR, and how she feels overall about having immigrated. Full interview below!:
When did you come to the United States?
I came at 28 years old.
Do you have any more kids?
Yes, I have 3.
How was your experience coming to the United States?
In reality, when I had to separate from my parents, it was painful. I came with the illusion to reunite with my husband and find a better future for myself. I spent a year and a half away from him. He was a citizen and through him, my kids became naturalized. That process began when I came over here.
At the beginning, coming to an unknown place – food, culture, language was hard. Finding a job with a language barrier was hard for me. I didn’t drive and sometimes the ride would leave me. I was always a responsible person and had to take two buses to Johnston. Sometimes it would snow or rain and I had to walk. Some people wouldn't even ask me how I was doing because I didn’t know the language. It was hard.
What were you working in?
In the Dominican Republic, I worked as a Registered Nurse, but I was working in a factory when I came here. The work was difficult. The climate here was different so I also always felt sick. Again, the language barrier was hard for me, so I couldn’t advocate for myself at work. It was hard for me when others would say things about me to my boss. I was always good at doing handy jobs. Luckily, as time went on, I was able to learn more. I was able to work somewhere else later on and my boss was able to understand me better. I was even at her wedding!
Have you gone back to DR?
Yes, I have returned back to DR. I feel good when I am over there, I love my culture and my people.
Has anything changed in DR since you first left?
It has changed. Tourism is interesting. There is a lot more crime, and it wasn’t how it was when we were kids. Back then, we could leave doors open and people knew us. My job was in the same street and I would get a ride from some people I know and now when I go there, I get scared even getting into a taxi. I’m scared to be in the dark. Those parts I don’t like. You can’t even take out a phone.
Do you feel like your perception has changed?
There is a group of people that are accustomed to the environment and can ignore it but immediate family are very aware of the crime and what is going on. Being in the United States, you notice the environment is different when you go back. For example, the way my house looks compared to my moms house – it looks like a jail. Of course, you always compare.
Do you regret leaving?
I didn’t have the ambition to come here. There was a time that some of my friends from the clinic that I worked in turned into family. They suggested I marry someone to be able to come here, but it didn’t happen. Years later, I met my kids father and he had a residency where he would come and visit. We lived together and had kids but we weren’t married legally. It was sad because I didn’t want to be separated from my parents. But, it was a good decision overall. My kids grew up here and we gave them a good opportunity that maybe over there would have been different. I would’ve stayed as a nurse and probably not made as much money as I would here. My kids were able to go to school. It was overall a good opportunity to come here. That makes me feel proud. I now work taking care of children.
I love going to DR. I love to visit. Of course, you never know who you could have been. Me and my cousin in DR are like the same person – every morning we would have the same routine. But she lives over there. She is a really hard working person. I feel like it’s such a privilege when I go over there. And I know that if my cousin came here, she would have a love of opportunities here. I would want the same for my cousin. So in a way I feel like “ni de aqui, ni de alla”. Us who were born in another country but came here feel connected to that culture as well as the culture here.
Do you continue any traditions here?
I don’t celebrate Halloween. Being an immigrant is complicated. Christmas, for example, is a beautiful holiday. Over there, my sisters would cook and I would cook at my parents house. I have learned to enjoy the holidays with my family split in half but the holidays were happier for me when I was there. My heart breaks when I have to face time my family. That’s something I never recovered from.
Have you spoken to anyone about how you feel in regards to your immigrant experience?
I saw a therapist who tried to talk to me about those experiences but I didn’t keep seeing her after a couple of times. Finding a therapist who spoke Spanish was hard for me. She was Dominican-American but her Spanish wasn’t good and she didn’t understand me well. For me, that has been very hard.
Does anyone in your family from DR want to come here?
My mom doesn’t want to come here and I have a visa application for my sister. She is close to coming within three years.
How do you feel working in the career you are working in now?
Even though it might be hard sometimes, I feel comfortable. I am able to give love to these kids and make mothers feel that their kid is being taken care of. I feel like this career is for me. Even though nursing was my passion over there, I feel that with kids, and helping my community, I’ve been able to get close to what I used to do. I have a lot of experience in several areas and it has helped me analyze the needs of the kids I take care of. Many consider me a blessing to them.
Is the idea of immigrants different for you now than when you were there?
I think that immigrants do an incredible job here. Immigrants make this country. Some do the low level jobs, some have higher positions like in congress, government, etc. Immigrants are everywhere. This country wouldn’t be so big if it wasn’t for immigrants. We all have an opportunity here. Anywhere you go you will find someone from another country or culture. Immigrants are hard working people. There are some who aren’t perfect but most people who come here to work.
How important is it to you to stay connected to the Latino community?
Immigrants have a strong sense of community. Due to our culture, we make friends from scratch. Food is big in our culture. At home, it's rare that I buy other food because I cook my Dominican food. There’s a connection with our foods. Even if we don’t speak the same languages, we all have a passion for our foods. There is nothing more valuable than the time you put into your food. It’s just a simple cup of coffee, but you’re giving that time and attention to that person you are sharing it with.
Any advice for any immigrants out there?
Teach your kids your native language, connect with them and your culture, teach them your culture – even if it's another generation. It's important for them to know that they have a culture. Learning your native language in school is different from learning it from home because you're not as connected to your culture. There's a disconnect. It's important to foment that culture.
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